


When I miss you, I remember that it's me who let you go

by Riricitaa



Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Avengers: Endgame fix it, F/M, Hurt, M/M, Old Steve feels, Old Steve regrets what he did
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-12
Updated: 2019-07-12
Packaged: 2020-06-27 02:05:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,388
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19781023
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Riricitaa/pseuds/Riricitaa
Summary: Steve goes back in time for his second chance with Peggy, but he finds someone else waiting for him.





	When I miss you, I remember that it's me who let you go

**Author's Note:**

> I'm always not sure about the things I write, I'm always feeling like it's missing something . I just hope I do enough for readers to enjoy 😊

Steve returned all the infinity stones and Mjölnir back to the exact time and place they were taken from. It took him awhile to be able to do it without screwing up the timeline more than it already is.  
  
Now it was time to do the one thing that he always wanted. At least he thought that he wanted.  
  
He followed Peggy to her house. He stayed in the car to watch as she walked out of hers, she was beautiful, breathtaking, as he always remembered her.  
  
She walked to the door, instead of opening it, he noticed that she knocked. Steve was confused. Why would she knock? Who could be in there? She couldn't be married now. It's not possible. He waited for the door to open. To reveal a really old man. Who is he? Steve asked himself. Maybe her grandfather? He thought.  
  
He watched as she hugged the old man quickly and said something to him like she was saying goodbye or thank you or something. She kissed the man on his forehead, hugged him again and went inside. Closing the door, while the old man went to sit on the bench in the front porch. Like he was waiting for someone.  
  
Steve waited for 2 hours now, the old man was still there. Steve decided to do what he travelled through time to do. Maybe the old man was just sitting there and will go back inside later, maybe he's not leaving, maybe he's a part of Peggy's life that she hadn't mentioned before. And if he's going to spend his life with Peggy, then her family is his family too.  
  
He cleared his throat, fixed his hair, and walked to the house. He went up to the porch. Said hi to the old man, while the old man only replied with a smile.  
  
He was about to knock on the door when the old man cleared his throat and decided to speak.  
  
"You're 2 hours late"  
  
"Excuse me?" Steve asked confused  
  
"Don't do this Steve"  
  
"You know who I am?"  
  
"I know you better than anyone Steve" the old man said "God I missed having that blond hair" the old man added pointing to Steve's hair.  
  
And that's when Steve's eyes widened and it hit him. The old man is only him from a future. He stared at the old man for more than few seconds to realise that.  
  
"Don't make the same mistake I made please" old Steve broke the silence.  
  
"Why? Isn't this what we always wanted?"  
  
"What we thought we wanted ... I lived this life Steve, and I only realised that I made a mistake when it was too late"  
  
"But ..."  
  
"She's an amazing woman Steve, but we both know that she already moved on and had her own life and family, and even when I told her that because you know I can't lie, she was so kind and didn't want to change anything, telling me that I deserve a happy ending and I deserve a second chance and that she would take that second chance with me. And it wasn't even guaranteed that it was going to work ... She made sure that we never had arguments, she made sure that even when I was wrong, she made it like I was right, she made sure that I was always happy, so we won't regret it."  
  
"And you weren't?"  
  
"Honestly, at first things were so amazing, being with the woman of my dreams, living the life I've missed, but as the time went by, something was missing" old Steve's voice cracked and paused for a second before adding with more of a whisper "someone was missing"  
  
Steve realised that old Steve had tears and was going to say something but old Steve decided to finish.  
  
"I couldn't believe that I left him after all those years of trying to get him back, I don't know what came to my mind thinking that it was okay to ruin Peggy's life, and to leave him behind when he needed me the most.. the guilt consumed me that I decided to find him in this timeline and save him from hydra, I thought maybe it would ease my pain"  
  
"I did, I saved him, I didn't care about what would happen to the future, but it was Bucky, I couldn't live with myself knowing that he was being tortured, I saved him and it was like a dream Steve, having him back before they could fully brainwash him and take his memories and life away from him, things were so good, until one day, I realised that what I always wanted was Bucky."

"He got under the alcohol's effect one night, and told me that he loved me, that he'd always loved me since we were kids. I thought he was joking, and then he kissed me. And at that moment, I realised that I too was in love with him. But I couldn't do anything about it, I was a married man, with a beautiful wife. I couldn't leave Peggy, and i couldn't cheat on her too. He told me that he understood, but ever since, things weren't the same between us. He stopped coming over, he stopped hanging out with me, always telling me that he's busy with work ... I lost him, again, how ironic" old Steve laughed through tears "Going back to where you just came from, to give Sam the shield and to let them know that everything was fine and all the stones were back safely, I couldn't even look at him or speak to him, I know it wasn't the same Bucky who told me that he loved me, but he was the Bucky that I loved, that you love and never going to know until it's too late."  
  
"I know this is a lot to take in, but believe me Steve, if the Bucky from this timeline who didn't go through all that torture and pain and guilt for the bad things he did under mind control, was that heartbroken that I couldn't be with him, imagine your Bucky, he's going to hate himself and maybe even think that you left him because he was damaged and wasn't worth what you did and how much you fought for him, I'm going to live with that regret until my last breath, I could've had it all, but I was too stupid to realise, and I wish that I had another old me to stop me at this very moment."  
  
"I know deep down in your heart, you know that you care for Bucky more than anyone else, you know that you always loved him more than anyone else, go back to him, don't leave him, he needs you, and you need him more than you think."  
  
Steve couldn't find the words, he was overwhelmed, he saw the pain in his old self's eyes, and couldn't imagine himself bearing all that pain and guilt. He nodded and pulled out the time travelling device but remembered that there was no Pym particles left, he looked up at old Steve who was holding one in his hand.  
  
"I came prepared, go, be happy with the real love of your life, you might not know it yet, but trust me, he is, always has been, always will be, you'll thank me one day."  
  
Steve nodded and was about to go back but old Steve stopped him.  
  
"One more thing, she's waiting for you inside, to have that dance, you go ahead, have your promised dance, and don't forget, she has lived a life, an amazing one, she even told you to move on once, so do as she said."  
  
"Take care of yourself and take care of Bucky, promise me you will love him and tell him that you do every single day, promise me that you will make him the happiest man, promise me you'll be there for him" old Steve said through tears again.  
  
"I will, till the end of the line." Steve said smiling. And old Steve returned the smile and mumbled a thank you.  
  
Steve then knocked on the door, Peggy opened almost immediately, she had a bright smile, she hugged Steve, invited him in for their dance. But all Steve was thinking about was Bucky.


End file.
